Summer Goals

Here is a list of everything I hope to accomplish this summer. We'll see.

Get Married

'nough said.

Build an assembly level computer with pipelining

I want to build the hardware that will implement the MIPS language, I probably won't build it at a gate level, cause it would be rather large, but want to connect the major components myself

Wake up in time to be doing something at 7

Early to bed, early to rise….

In depth study of the Bible

I really want to understand the Bible more, not just spiritually, but intellectually as well.

Learn Iphone API

With the release of the Ipad, the API for the whole I-world system is being used by more and more people, knowing how to write programs for this platform has become more and more important.

Learn to type as fast as someone can talk

This would be helpful for taking notes in school or church

Learn Peter and the Wolf on the piano

Cause it's awesome. And I miss piano :(

Do in-book assignments from programming book (Data structures and Algorithms)

Cause I miss Java.

Learn everything I should've in Physics 1

I tended to use my Physics class to do homework for my other classes, but I'm really interested in learning Physics and I have to take Physics 2...

Go through my discrete book and learn the rest of it

Cause this was pretty much my favorite class so far, and we only covered like the first 5 or so chapters.

Read:

- Plato

Good luck finding another book where all you read is a conversation and you learn so much.

- Les miserables

Epic. At least the movie and audio drama were. Hoping the book will be the same.

- Crime and Punishment

I'm about halfway through and got busy. But keep having mental flashbacks to it.

- Cost of Discipleship

Been on my to read list for a while.

- LOTR

I'd like to reread and rewatch all of these.

- Intellectuals

An analysis of famous thinkers that have shaped society and their personal flaws

- The End is Now

Rob Stennet's book on the end times, should be good.

- I Isaac, Take Thee Rebekah

Ravi Zacharias takes Isaac and Rebekah's story from Genesis 24 and uses it as a model for marriage today

- King Raven Trilogy

Stephen Lawhead takes the story of Robin Hood and sets it in Wales to coincide with the Norman conquest of the Welsh people. Very interesting historical fiction.

- The Dragon King Trilogy

Just straight up good fantasy fiction

- 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

A classic

- What's So Amazing About Grace

Philip Yancey's exploration of grace, I'd also like to read 'Prayer', and 'The Jesus I Never Knew'

- Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass

A reread, my interest has again been perked by several discussions of Alice in Wonderland in my computer science classes.

- Inheritance Book 4 (if it comes out)

::sigh:: I've never been more disappointed then reading the whole third book of this series, thinking it was the end of the trilogy, only to find at the end that the author decided to split it into 2 books.

- Code

This book basically taught me the same thing as 4 of my college classes. Must read for anyone interested in the line between Electrical Engineering and Computer Science

- Grief Observed

C.S. Lewis's honest exploration of his grief after the loss of his wife. Must read.

- Divine Comedy

Dante's journey through hell, purgatory, and heaven. I've only read the Inferno, but its really interesting the characterizations of people he uses.

- Dune

Classic Sci-fi, I just haven't had the chance to read it yet.

- Earthborn

My favorite book of all time. Probably the most engaging story of grace I've ever read, I've read it probably a dozen times.

- Freakonomics

Pure Brain Candy

- The God Who is There

Francis Schaeffer's response to human dispare

- The Lucifer Effect

Philip Zimbardo, the guy who did the Stanford Prison Experiment, examines from a worldly perspective why "good people turn evil"

- The Myths of Greece and Rome

I love mythology, and find all the stories have very interesting parallels to Christianity

- The Object-Oriented Thought Process

A well recommended book to help me be a better programmer

- The Practice of the Presence of God

A book that I'm nearly constantly in the middle of. Must read.

- Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, Children of the Mind

Orson scott card at his best. If you are in any way somewhat maybe interested in scifi type books, you HAVE to read these.

- The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers

More pure brain candy

- The World is Flat

We've been talking about this book in class, its another one that I've been meaning to read, but never have gotten to

- The Lovely Bones

I don't know what to expect from this one. Its outside my usual genres, and I'm intrigued.

So that's pretty much it, unless I find time to learn braille. Who knows?

I am yours

Here's a song I wrote for my theory class...
Verse 1
G
Will my broken heart be whole,
Em
Will you save my broken soul
C
I am yours
Dsus D
Complete me

Verse 2
G
Come and save me from myself
Em
Passions that rise from my hearts hell
C
I am yours
Dsus D
Redeem me

Chorus
G
God in all the heavens,
D
They trembled at your touch,
Em7 C
You starred the sky and breathed in me,
Dsus D
How could there be such love

G
God my holy maker,
D
Who came to live in me,
Em7 C
Amazing love Lord, this is it
Dsus D
That you would die for me



Verse 3
G
Heavens tremble at the sound,
Em
Of your whispers that abound,
C
From your throne,
Dsus D
Defend me my God

Walk Among the clouds tonight

Come and walk among the clouds tonight, where everything's ok,
Come and see the pretty city lights, from where i, for one, must stay,
Journey down that restful road, with burdens, none, and less the load,
Where all must come, yet all alone, inside this blissful night.

See this gentle quiet night, with ever drawing dawn,
See our hearts, these birds of flight, here, and still foregone,
Past the call of every world, our minds, our own, but all inswirled,
These clouds beyond all sight, these clouds of distant night.

Watch the tale thats been untold, removed from mind's understanding,
Watch this map of words unfold, this falling crash, love's soft landing,
This whisper of our future rising, often grasped though every twist surprising,
Our hands with bitter bite, this timid lurking night,

Tell this far off distant fright, to one who's heart has preheard,
Tell of great and fearful height, which is real, yet beyond all word,
Call softly, ever softly, with each syllable do herd, all with every action, of what has been inferred,
A place where each wight contrite, will fear that distant night,

Go with me to this place of might, where I long to be,
Go without a fear of light, and all that all will see,
Let go of all your treasured past, a tale of hurt that will not last,
Where all will be made right, this loving peaceful night,

Now hurry now! you rushing winds. Hurry now! you whispered friend,
Oh clouds that hearts ignite, Oh clouds rush in tonight,
Oh clouds my hearts delight, oh clouds of darkest night.

Snow...

I see the snow,
Falling fast and sleek,
How it comes, I can not know,
Floating high and flying low,
So cold, and light, and weak,

Racing through an alley,
Turning round a bend,
These flakes, they do not dally,
As they run to reach their tally,
Melting drifts with holes to mend,

These simple little snow flakes,
Tiny glints of moon's soft light,
Falling down in vast white lake,
Leaving nothing in its wake,
But quite, peaceful night,

A gleam of flying fairy ships,
On wings of star shaped hearts,
Falling down on graceful trips,
With out a pause for plan or scripts,
Each dive a graceful art,

Where do these crystals come from?
Where do they make their berth?
These little tiny snowman crumbs,
Each without out thought of what they become,
As they glide down to the earth,

Every flake a blessing,
None ever the same,
Every touch expressing,
Love and hope's caressing,
Through every cold and bitter pain.

Songs about rain....

Falling Sleek and smooth,
On my window pane,
Each driving in his grove,
And then merging with a lane,

Falling in my sand box,
Grabbing at every grain,
Trickling through the time washed rocks,
Like sand through time's vast drain,

Gathering as its falling,
Every scent the same,
And then through soft lawn a crawling,
Leaving a freshness none can name,

It lashes out in quiet,
A roaring, soaking flame,
And draws back its haunting riot,
exclusive and untamed,

It pours out in a thunder,
Dipplets of no acclaim,
And then in silent wonder,
ceases its fluctuated game,

A drizzle light and dreary,
A river without stain,
A cloud weepy and weary,
This hidden power without strain,

In a flash of distant lightning,
These tear drops never wane,
The sudden brightness isn't as frightening,
as the darkness that stays the same,

Who can understand thee?
Blowing ever about with my weather vane,
No mind can seek to map thee,
Your ways beyond any brain,

You fall on each in equal,
On plane, on car, on train,
And ever there's a sequel,
Blood of heaven's vein,

You never seem to falter,
Endless gordian chain,
You fall without an alter,
Onto pleasure, onto pain,

We chalks of people muddle,
To a sidewalk's woven grain,
All tossed in a great puddle,
Of dreams and futures slain,

Why won't you ever leave me?
Cruel and taunting rain,
Please don't ever leave me,
Changing, moving rain...

Take a look...its in a book....my discombobulated pooem...

Eyes whisper so soft,
Things said so oft,
Pulling back many threads,
In a Gulliver's web,

I fear an invisible corpse,
It twists and it warps,
No eyes ever seeing,
My crystalline being,

Hiding in tight woven fence,
My cave deep and dense,
I'll be saving no Fridays,
Enshroud in my ways,

My memories set,
my stories, every fret,
The fahrenheit rises,
But this library has no suprises,

Fighting my faces,
And running my races,
I run and I ride,
But can't leave my jekyll, my hyde,

Facing haunting times,
My thoughts and my rhymes,
A letter my own,
A 'C' little shown,

I can't build my own house,
For life falls, each heavy douse,
My friends easily tear through the guilt,
And now in their corner it's built,

Its speaking now, my hidden tongue,
My potrait painted, but not yet hung,
All may melt yet to meaningless blur,
But in my head, still all's astir,

Fear my mind and its dark lurkings,
A tree in torment, its words unnerving,
Seeking to be heard anew,
But the pain it takes will be heard by few.

On the phone...A song-breaking out my hip-hop skillz, lol

I see the people walking,
people walking by,
I hear the people talking,
they don't look me in the eye,
and I- hope that you-- won't pass me by,
and I- hope that you-- won't say goodbye,
As I sit in your presence---...on the phone,

On the phone!
Listening to gentle dial tone,
Beeeeeeep is your pretty moan,
tearing me with meaning unknown,
your response to the heartfelt words i've sown
As I sit in your presence...on the phone

I feel your heart a beating,
Mine is beating too,
I'm longing for a meeting,
a one with me and you,
And I- hear you say-- just what i try
And I- don't hear you say-- that long goodbye
As I sit in your presence---...on the phone

On the phone!
Listening to your music drone,
Voice like a bottle of sweet cologne,
Anger like a fierce cyclone,
You talk to me and I don't feel alone,
As I sit in your presence...on the phone

I love to hear you whisper,
'please hang up and try again"
I can't bear the thought of,
you near other other men,
And I-know your heart--you've gave me the sign,
And I-know your heart--longs to be next to mine,
As I sit in your presence---...on the phone

On the Phone!
For wrong numbers dailed, I feel atoned,
I won't take another clone,
Its you I want, you alone
I think of you, you are my own,
Sweet, sweet lady...on the phone!

Not a poem. I know crazy.

Galations 5:6 The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.


So then, how does faith express itself through love? James 2:14-25 tells us that "faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." Therefore the expression of faith is through an outward action. Just as the expression of the "feeling" of repentance is the action of removing sinfulness from ones life, so the expression of the "feeling" of faith is action of love. We can not trully repent without that action, and we can not trully have faith without loving. It is through God's expression of the "feeling" of love for us(ephesians 2:4) that we are redemed by the action of love, Christ's death on the cross(1 john 3:16), and through our expression of our "feeling" of the acceptence of redemption, we are redeemed by the expression of faith, that is shown by our action of love, obedience to God(john 14:15). Therefore our redemption does not remove the law, but rather through the expression of our redemption, it is upheld(romans 3:31).

To be continued....

Behind

Behind my eyes there are tears,
Of sadness, of joy,
Behind this mask there are fears,
of a tired broken boy,

Behind my hands are timidness,
fearing every move,
Behind this cage, a restlessness,
ripped with doubt that none can sooth,

Behind my feet are footprints,
from a past I left behind,
Behind this glaze are whispered hints,
of that past that still fills my mind,

Behind my mind are quiet words,
that clog each searching thought,
Behind my back, a thousand birds,
Lifting, to help me fly or die, I and they know naught,

Behind my heart a question,
Lingering in cool night air,
Will this be my life long obsession,
Will it be? Do I dare?

Poem. again.

Why does this haunt me,
These whispered words, these lies,
In the dark when I can't see,
Everything spins and dies,

Do I face it?
Do I move on?
I cannot sit,
Until its presence is gone,

These whispers of thought,
These destroying lies,
Though I seek them naught,
They still haunt me with their cries,

I want to escape,
From what lies behind my eyes,
Why do I stay molded in this shape,
Where a mistake means my heart dies,

How do I run?
How do I fight?
Behind the clouds there's no sun,
Just more darkness, no light,

I hate being here,
In the world that is not mine,
Though I long for it when it is near,
It is not who I am, not my emblem or sign,

Flee from the darkness,
But where will I hide,
In the light? I'll be found with my mess,
I'm stuck, no matter which side,

Freedom I've found,
Isn't the absence of this curse,
But when the action is bound,
That would have me in hearse,

Random musings

I feel the strong urge to write something...but nothins coming...hmm...

Time. The constantly flowing force that always seems to do the opposite of what we desire. Forcing us ever onward through the times that we'd like to stay in, and leaving us praying that it would advance one instant during the times when sorrow knocks at our door. How do we stand with this constantly belittiling enemy? Why must we wrap our minds around this seemingly inconsistant constant? But perhaps all these questions are another way of asking-why must we live? Time is the object through which we remember. A past, or at least knowledge of one, for us to take anything and compare it and learn it and grow it. Yet God is outside time. Does God remember things in the past? I mean, he knows everything, but does he remember things? As if they happened in the past? or does he just see everything through all time as if it happened in the present? the way we don't just see a single point along a line, but see the whole line as a whole?

hmmm....i dunno...just some thoughts.
I'll try and write something coherent later...lol

wrote this a while ago...thought why not...

Why must I wait,
Why can't I run,
Straight into your arms,
Like the fast rising sun,

And why can't they see,
This hope that I've found,
Lifting me up,
Way up over, the ground,

And I--I sit here and wait,
Yes, I--I sit here and wait,
Sit in your silence,

When I talk to a friend,
And I hear your name,
I see my heart,
The difference, the change,

In every person and place,
I see your face,
And I feel it rise,
My heart's beating its pace,

(bridgish chorus)

Why can't I wake,
From this bright dream,
Spinning me round ,
I hope alls as it seems,

(more random verses to the same rhythm pattern)

Yet another poem...And yes I do want you to answer the question :-)

How do I say "I love you",
Those simple, simple words,
Refreshing like the morning dew,
Or singing of the birds,

Do I shout it from the rooftops,
Or whisper in the dark,
How do I say "I love you",
I don't know where to start,

Do I hold you close forever,
Tell you everything will be okay,
Or never touch you, never,
And keep the words at bay,

Do I seek to be near you always,
Or leave in alone in peace,
Do I buy you lots of chocolate,
Or not one single piece,

Do I take you out to dinner,
To a movie to a show,
Or you want to stay alone with me,
And for a stroll we'll go,

Do I write you mane a letter,
Telling you how wonderful you are,
You deserve so much better,
Much more then me by for

Do I seek to serve you always,
Open all the doors,
Do I help in tasks through all days,
Like getting done your chores,

I hope that you see clearly,
These words I don't know how to say,
Please know I love you dearly,
And try to act that way,

So how do I say "I love you",
Is it in word or deed,
Or something else quite new,
I don't know what you need,

When I say "I love you",
I mean more then I say,
I just want what's best for you,
Each night and every day,

I hope that you will be mine,
But I don't know what that is,
I just await His sign,
Because I want much more for you to be His,

So hear these words, "I love you"
Hear them every day,
And someday things that I knew,
Will come forth, He'll let me say.

A song

In our weakness,
Will you help us now,
In confusion,
Will you show us how,

How to move on,
And how to stay strong,
Please give us your light,
Hold us in this fight,

Because there's beauty in the pain,
There's beauty in the broken,
Hope falls like the rain,
Coming from words unspoken,

There's beauty in the hope,
Beauty in heart's forgiving,
Beauty in how we cope,
Beauty in just living,

Let us live, God,

And fill us with your fire,
Let our knees nod,
When time are very dire,
I give you my trails,
I give you my cares,
Carry me through these miles,
As we face these snares,

My Prayer

Help me to let go,
Of everything I should,
Help me to not sow,
The wrong things beneath heart's vieled hood,

Help me now to grow,
In you my Lord, my God,
Help me now to know,
Of you to whom my heart does nod,

Help me now to see,
Your path laid out, so right,
Help me now to be,
A man, a servant, a knight,

For in your ways, peace is found,
In your ways, sin is bound,
You are my rock, my solid ground,
"You are my Lord", the heavens sound,

When trouble come,
And alone I feel,
You'll be my sum,
To you I'll kneel,

To be yours, is my dare,
This I say to thee,
It is my prayer,
My call, my plee.

A Dream

In a dream,
A dream of futures passed,
The tale of the way things seem,
A story of things that couldn't last,
In a dream,

In a dream,
I hear the things I should've said,
Trailing through as my mind deems,
I know the thoughts that are long dead,
In a dream,

In a dream,
I see you as I know you are,
Before my mind fills with a thoughtless scheme,
I know you from near to far,
In a dream,

In a dream,
As I grasp your gentle hand,
I feel we make the perfect team,
Walk with me across the land?
In a dream.

In a dream,
I hope I am what I'll become,
Not like my now saddened extreme,
But a man who, to God, has come,
In a dream,

In a dream,
I feel the hope of future,
I fear past's foggy cream,
I watch as the both are sutured,
In a dream.

Why yes, I just wanted to rhyme things with footprint.

A single line of foot prints,
Walking through the snow,
Those soft and gentle imprints,
Wherever do they go?

A single line of foot prints,
Traveling through the night,
Their crisp edges give whispered hints,
Of the moon's downpouring light,

A single line of foot prints,
Crisp in cool cold air,
Flakes and crystaled heart sprints,
Glistening and laid bare,

A single line of foot prints,
The favored of snow's marks,
Going on, tiny rents,
Like the light of heaven's sparks,

A single line of foot prints,
A story within them rests,
They make their quiet stints,
Across snow's gentle nest,

A single line of foot prints,
I wish I could ever see,
They go where no one else went,
And where they are, no one else can be,

A single line of foot prints,
I need to forever stay,
I hope you hear, as I meant,
The words I act out every day,

A single line of foot prints,
Ending as they did start
A single line of foot prints,
Strolling across my heart.

A song....in the style of staind...."I thought you said 'I love you' "

I thought you said 'I love you',
I guess I heard you wrong,
I thought that you would be true,
And I hadn't been led along,
I thought I heard you whisper,
Those nothings in my ear,
I never caught the adieu,
Until you were not here,

And I cry out in whispers,
Because I don't know what to say,
These tears, they do surround me,
I'll hide you from my shame,
You said you'd always be there,
Would always hold my hand,
Until the day you left me,
I thought you'd understand.

I thought you said 'I love you',
It must be my mistake,
I thought I watched as you grew,
Out of your past, and through its wake,
I thought that I'd read your mail,
Through the portal of your heart,
It seemed that you became new,
But you hadn't made a start,

(chorus)

I thought you said 'I love you',
I thought that you would be true,
I thought you'd finally break through,
But I never really knew...I never really knew....

Wrote this for battlecry...but why not...

When faced with doubt and troubles,
My heart like fallen rubbles,
I'll rise to head his call,

This is my battle cry,

In time when I feel small,
When I trip, stumble, and fall,
I'll seek him with my all,

This is my battlecry,

When the world has gone quite dim,
And I stagger on sin's brim,
His Word I will take in,

This is my battlecry,

When a brother soldier ,
Stumbles under satan's boulder,
With them will be my prayers, and for their Tears, my shoulder,

This is my battlecry,

When a call of help rises,
From people of all shapes and sizes,
I will pull them from all guises,

This is my battlecry,

When sickness, death, and bloodshed,
Strand someone in their bed,
I'll heal them as He said,

This is mybattlecry,

I'll praise through pain and heartache,
Sing till there out of heaven breaks,
A fire and a passion, that makes the whole world shake,

This is my battlecry,

Until hell has been defeated,
And satan's throne unseated,
My goal is not completed,

I will seek his face unceasing,
Each day my heart is beating,
Till filled is heaven's place of meeting,

This is my battlecry,
This is my battlecry,
THIS IS MY BATTLECRY.

i really tried to hard to make this one rhyme...to free-versy for me to...

in the silence of a thousand tears,
speaking through your many snears,
they've piled up through all these years,
say them now, those unknown fears,

in the picture of the darkness lay,
the things you simply cannot say,
you press them hard, keep them at bay,
to the torturous souls, just say nay,

in the whispers of your hazel eyes,
the pressure here of all my lies,
i feel it now, to soon it dies,
seek my past and all it buys,

in the twinkle of your pristine smile,
the old unpacked and all in file,
spinning through, your thoughts, a dail,
flowing down like ancient nile,

in the lightness of your gentle hand,
singing softly like big brass band,
i know your there across the land,
spread through thought, like twisted sand,

in the calmness of your beating heart,
the beating whispers it apart,
it changes as you give a start,
your feelings now, sweet or tart?

in everything you ever said,
they fly back through my winding head,
lifting me, like load of lead,
drawing me to life-long bed.