This was a comment for janell, but it got to be to long...

So, do you dare to seek the unseekable?
To try the untryable?
To see danger coming and rise up to meet the flames?
Do you want it?
Do you want Him?
How bad?
Bad enough to die?
In dying there's no punishment.
Bad enough to be hurt?
What is pain in the face of life eternal.
Bad enough to live?
Thats right. Live.
Live in a world you don't belong.
Saying words that aren't in your native tongue.
Eating food that won't sustain.
Drinking water the won't quench your thirst.
Yet all for a purpose.
You want one of those don't you?
You want to be able to take you bread and feed five thousand
You want to be able to lift a dead man from the grave
But you want more then that.
Because none of that matters.
Why feed a mans stomach when its his heart that is hungry.
Why heal a mans body when its his soul that is dead.
You want more.
More.
You want to raise up your voice and have legions fall from the sky.
You want kingdoms and rulers to rise from your prayers.
You want chains to break. walls to crumble. tears to fall, and turn to laughter. But not for you. No, not for you. For you desire more then all this. You want more than what you're given. You wont accept life they way it is, you won't accept living the way others do, not even other christians, for they know far to little, they love far to little, they feel far to little, God is not to little! Beyond everything that happens in your spirit, in your soul, and in your mind, you want something so much more. You want Him. The Almighty. The Holy One. The Lover and Lovee. Everything He is, and everything He will be. You want Him.
But will you seek Him?
Can you seek Him?
He wants you to find Him. He calls you, not like a fire, not like a mighty wind, not like thunder and the lightning, but like a whisper...He wants to be found, but not found out of the corner of your eye, by chance, as you were passing through, on a lucky guess, a hunch, a roll of the die. He wants more too. He wants you to find Him, but He wants you to find Him when you seek Him, and even more then that, when you seek He wants you to seek with ALL YOUR HEART!
Can you do that?
Can you do it, giving up everything for, Him?
Everything. Everything doesn't just mean giving up sex, drugs, alcohol, SI, porn, or sin in general. It means giving up, food, drink, sleep, hugs, books, boyfriends, girlfriends, tv, gaming, sports, camping, travling, security, love, pleasure, pain, on and on and on the list goes. Everything, means everything.
Can you do that?
Can you seek the God of the ages with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength, not just at your youth camp, not just at a conference, not just at youth group, or church, or in that prayer meeting, but every moment of every day with everything you have?
Can you really?
yes?

Well then prove it. I dare you!

more poetry.

everytime i look in her eyes
i see what i shouldn't know
i know what pains her so
and i wish i could let her show

i feel her
i know her
i see it in her eyes
i draw back
don't touch her
someday we'll stop the lies
someday when i look in her eyes

everytime i look in his eyes
i see the anger dwelling there
mouth drawn tight and nettled hair
if i could just say i care

i feel him
i know him
i see it in his eyes
i draw back
don't touch him
someday we'll stop the lies
someday when i look in his eyes

everytime they look in my eyes
what secrets do i have hidden
who do i think i'm kidden
do they rise to my face un-bidden?

can you feel me
do you know me
can you see it in my eyes
i draw back
don't touch me
someday we'll stop the lies
someday when you look in my eyes

everytime He looks in my eyes
He see what dwells beneath them
He knows how my heart wanes and grows dim
I fall back on what I know, that I can trust in Him

He feels me
He know me
I see it in His eyes
You draw me
please touch me
you see through all my lies
someday when you see through my disguise

Why we need to reform the government.

So today I worked for 11 hours. I was all happy because thats a fair bit of mola, and then I realized something. 45% of the money I earn automatically gets taken by the government. Thats before I even get my paycheck, and after that I have to pay 7.4% sales tax on stuff I buy. All in all that's nearly 50% of my paycheck. Ok, now of the money that comes out of my paycheck, 4.3% goes to the state and the rest pays for social security, medicare, and federal income tax.

Now lets look at how much the government spends a year...
In 2004 the government spent 1.4 trillion dollars on social benefits, this is things like social security, medicare, food stamp programs, unemployment stuff, welfare....
They spent 484.2 billion on national security, the armed forces and such
They spent 238.5 billion on public safety, this is the police, firefighters, courts, and prisons
They spent 231.9 billion on transportation, space, agriculture, energy ect...
All in all the spend over 3.5 trillion dollars a year.

I have a problem with this. Mainly, its the fact that I worked for my money, and I would like to spend it how I see fit. So, my idea is to reform the government into only the areas nessacary for a capitalistic society. Basically, I think that we should eliminate a bunch of government payed for areas. Such as: All transportation stuff(roads, planes, boats, space, so on..), post office, education, and all social benefits. This would eliminate the following from the cabinet: department of agriculture, department of commerce, department of labor, department of education, department of energy, department of transportation, department of health and human services, department of housing and urban development.
That, in theory, would save 2 trillion dollars.

Now, you may be wondering, how will the roads get built, and letters get sent, and people get educated, and people retire, and people get medical insurance....

Poohs Grand Adventure

So last night I watched "Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin" What a good movie! But it made me think about growing up. In the movie the message that they were trying to tell kids was somthin like, "things aren't as scary as they seem", or "you can do anything if you believe in yourself", stuff like that, but the message I got out of it was very different. All through the movie they have these amazing adventures; they run from monsters, pass through a hedge of thorns(sleeping beauty style), piglet almost gets kidnapped by butterflies, they fall off a cliff, and then have to travel through an endless labrinth of caves testing each to the edge of their abilities. IT'S AWESOME!!! But after they find Christopher Robin (yes, I spoiled the ending, but its a disney, you knew they'd find him), they go back through all the places where they had their adventures and its not big, and adventursome anymore.

The cliff they fell off of is now about 5 feet deep. The hedge of thorns, a thistle patch. The endless labrinth, a small rock formation. And I suppose if I was four I would realize that they're telling us that once we overcome our fears, they now longer are as large and looming, or at the very least, things are always easier with Christopher Robin.

But I'm not four. So it made me remember all of those awesome adventures you have when your a kid. Crawling under the covers on your parents big water bed becomes an adventure through the caves where the ground is ever slipping from beneath you feet. You stay under for hours always crawling along, but never reach the end, it just keeps going. Or, you build a massive hill in your sandbox, and create a sprawling tunnel city for all of your talking cars. The list goes on...Climbing trees, counting stars, going down a slide, walking along the fence, even just laying in the grass all become amazing adventures when you're young. But when you look back on them now, they have lost their luster. Trying to hide underneath your parent's covers no longer works as well. No longer can you crawl behind the easy chair and sit for hours watching the ten commandments, or reading boxcar children. Why is that? Is there some rule that once you hit 4 foot, life no longer holds any adventure? Some untold reason that maturity suddenly means a loss of that childhood innocence?

The more I think about this, the more I think that maybe I learned the lesson the film makers were trying to teach me. When we are young, what drives us to all these adventures? It's because we don't know what will happen, we fear, on some small degree, the places our feet may take us. As we get older though, we understand more and more, its like Marie Curie said, "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." The more we understand something, the less we fear it. Crawling under the sheets isn't as scary when we are big, we lose that anticipation, the joy of discovering things unknown, seeing things unseen. I miss it. Discovery. Yes, the pool of knowledge is always bigger then the stuff we know, but doesn't it seem like all important stuff we already know? I don't ever ever want to grow up, but i'm scared, scared that maybe I already have

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."